Saturday, July 14, 2007

3...2...1...NCLEX

So I took the NCLEX. I have to be very careful about what I say, since I signed all this paperwork that basically says if I spill any beans I will be unable to ever feel happiness again, or be forced to do an edition of "Big Brother" with Michael Moore, Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity as my roommates, or have my genetic code altered to make me permanently allergic to pizza, Cinnabon and cheese fondue. Or something along those lines anyway, I didn't read all the fine print, but it is definitely bad.

I don't know what I expected, but it was surprisingly formal with fingerprints and all. I took the test along with a girl named Sarah. I know her name was Sarah only because it said so on her earrings. Now of course I am fascinated with people who feel the need to wear their name, like unless it is somewhere visible on their bodies they might just forget. Especially if said name is bejewelled, I mean, how many of us have the guts to do that? But I thought, if you have to wear your name, how the heck do you remember acid/base balances or med side-effects or the principles of non-violent communication? Also, it would have been more awesome if her name had been Laverne, but I digress.

Anyhoo, the test was fun, and by fun I mean it sucked. The very first question was reasonable, but after that it is just a blur of me going "You're kidding, right?" to the computer. It stopped at 75 questions leaving me quite freaked out. Sarah was still going, I'm not sure if she was just slower or if she was being unfairly given more opportunities to pass the dang thing. I left feeling quite confident. Quite confident that I had failed. I graduated summa cum laude just to fail my boards?!?! Instead of getting on the subway I walked the three miles home just to start planning where I might get accepted into nursing school again, because clearly I hadn't learned anything and was going to have to start over from the very beginning. Let's see, which end of the needle goes into the patient? Oh right, the sharp end. That would be a good place to start from.

But a strange thing happened. I passed. I really don't know how, because based on that exam I'm a complete boob when it comes to anything related to nursing. But it is their mistake, and now the world will have to forever suffer Robb, RN. Bwa-ha-ha!!!

I have one more week before I have to grow up and start the first "real" job of my life. So of course we are running off to NYC for a few days to see some friends and a few shows. Then next Monday the fun starts.

Crap.

9 comments:

  1. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! congrats!! like i had any doubt, but still, it's nice to see "pass," no? btw, i wore a tiara that said jill in glittery colorful jewels to my nclex test.

    oh, and when you say crap, it just makes me think of my james bondish night of sexy casino fun and dice shooting.

    enjoy your next week.

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  2. Well, since I had to really wrangle (unwittingly) to find out how you did on the exam, and since it really wasn't even YOU that told me (thanks David, really) .... I'm trying very hard not to gloat and feel like the most luckiest of Moms in the entire universe to have lived with such brilliant children who can pass stuff like that and who can write this kind of blog and who can even be an actor/singer who once was on Broadway ... blah blah blah. Nu uh.... I'm feeling just a little bit off balance - like maybe you were left on my doorstep all those years ago and I just took you in. Your real Mom is probably Einstein's, too. But then, that's not taking into consideration your Dad's genes which are ever so present in all of you.
    So then ... no. I'm not proud. I'm just acting.
    Congratulations Robb.

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  3. Congrats Robb BSN, RN!!!!! Never a doubt here. Isn't it the most bizarre exam ever? So glad we never have to suffer it again. Good luck with the new job next week. It kind of sucks, working for a living. But the steady paycheck is sorta nice...

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  4. god, your mom is just amazing

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  5. yay robb! as if you could have FAILED. whatev. :D doesn't it feel good to be done with it though? like... you really have nothing else important to study for ever again. anything we have to study for (ACLS or whatever) isn't really a big deal at all. :D yay!

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  6. Infallible Angel indeed. Best of Broadway, giving you your dancin' start. . . does that qualify me to laugh and smile at your success? Know it or not, I've always claimed you as a quasi-son. What shows did you see? I didn't read the Potter blog since we haven't seen it yet. . .

    Well handsome, I was thrilled to be tossed your way. Hugs and that stuff.

    M

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  7. Jill - I think it goes without saying that you are a braver person than I am. ::grin:: But a tiara is in another league altogether anyway, I'd love to see more of them.

    Cadie - You need to fix your blog so unregistered people can leave comments. You're funny but I can't ever tell you so!

    Marcia - I'll love you forever, you know that. Best of Broadway, now those were the days. heh

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  8. Congrats! Congrats! Congrats! I'm so thrilled for you. Although, like everyone else, I never had a doubt that you would pass :) Yes, yes, my friend base is shaping up nicely. I've got an attorney, a computer / math genius, and now a nurse! If I play my cards right, I can live the life of a criminal evildoer without the slightest bit of worry. Oh, and I'll have someone who can put together a kick ass website for me :)

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  9. Hey you!
    You and I had very similar NCLEX experiences (minus the name earrings girl...and how do you know that she was actually wearing her name...I just went out and bought some earrings that say "Beth"...thoroughly confusing to everyone i meet....:)
    But congrats on passing...I never doubted you would! I wish you were here (or I was there ahahah) to share all of these very strange "nurse" experiences I have been having! You are probably one of the few that would actually "get" while I spend most my shift trying not to giggle. People are freaking strange!
    Miss you, and tell David "Hi"
    for me.
    Mariah

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