More than meets the eye?

Yesterday made yet another Ikea run. (You poor Albuquerque peeps have no idea what you are missing.) Unfortunately they were out of the small bookshelf we wanted so we'll have to go back again. But we did get the last load of blinds, finally all our windows are covered! We also bought an extra-wide spatula, because, when don't you need one of those?

So this morning, after David made some delicious pancakes made even more delicious by the use of our new extra-wide spatula, and then after I did yet another 125 practice NCLEX questions, and then after a run to the local hardware store to get screws to come home and hang up our kitchen blinds, THEN we went to see the new Transformers movie.

Now this is weird. While I was aware of Transformers as a kid, I have absolutely no memory of ever watching the cartoon. I never played with the toys, it was just sort of a peripheral awareness kind of thing. Yet even so I am clearly the product of some nefarious subliminal merchandising plot, and can sing the theme song by memory.

The Transformers!
More than meets the eye!
The Autobots wage their battle to destroy
the evil forces of the Deceptecons!

I have no idea how or why I know that, some kind of childhood osmosis I guess. But I digress. I expected the movie to be a big fun summer flick, and it was. It made the mistake of trying to take itself seriously which causes some unfortunate laughter at times. You expect the cliche romance, but the kiss in the sunset comes right in the middle of the battle and the kid needs to run away fast and it is moments like that that make the movie feel long.

Actually it was like there were two separate movies going on. The serious action flick (we're not supposed to giggle when the huge robot alien says "But you can call us Autobots") and then all these long comedy sequences featuring supporting cast members. Some clever casting helps make the comedy sequences entertaining, even if they are completely tangential to the movie itself. Bernie Mac just cracks me up, even though his sequence ends on a peculiar make-no-sense note. The kids parents are very funny (FYI his mom just beat Angela Lansbury, Swoozie Kurts and Vanessa Redgrave for the Best Actress Tony this year so you know she's hot). But did I really need to see one of the Autobots (heh) "pee" on John Turturro? He is lamely miscast, but I hope he got paid extra for that.

When Michael Bay guest hosted "On The Lot" a few weeks back, he critiqued one of the short films by saying something like "You took a two minute movie and stretched it to three minutes, and it just started to feel repetitive." Well Mr. Bay, while I appreciate the nudge-nudge joke where someone in the movie yells "this is so much better than Armaggedon!" (one of your previous movies), I still think you took a close to two hour movie and stretched it to close to three.

Overall, better than Silver Surfer (which is like saying you smell better than burnt microwave popcorn), but looses big time to Die Hard as far as sheer fun factor.

No doubt though, the special effects of the - I'm sorry, but I giggle everytime I have to say Autobot - are pretty amazing. Too bad the cameras move around so fast that you really have no idea what is happening during the fight sequences. I still don't know which one of the robots died. (But I think it was the "Black" one, which is unbelievably cliche, is this a horror movie or something???) I liked the kid a lot, Shia whatever. David didn't. He liked the girl. I didn't. She had some super lame dialogue ("I am NOT leaving without Bumblebee!"), but mostly it was the thick makeup. I can't stand that.

Anyway, I walked out happy, and the more we talked about it, the lamer I realized it was. So I'd suggest having something really fun to do right after you see the movie to distract you from ever talking about it. Then you'll get your ten dollars worth without having to feel guilty about liking something so formula.

Bonus: the very beginning of the movie was filmed in White Sands New Mexico. Then the next part of the movie is set in DC. How super awesome is that??? Then they go to Hoover Dam for a bit of silly movie fun, and drive minutes away to the huge metropolis of Boulder City. Um, as someone who has driven through Boulder City many times, I'm pretty sure there is no massive tangle of freeways or concrete jungle of skyscrapers. There isn't even one skyscraper. I know it was movie-world, but still it was kinda funny. Plus the movie world version of Boulder City is populated by morons, who can't seem to figure out that when giant robots in the shape of tanks and helicopters and stuff start knocking down buildings while they fight, maybe it would be a good idea to just run in the OPPOSITE direction? If you are too stupid to just run away, I don't have to feel bad when you get squished by debris, I'm just saying.

Ooh ooh ooh! But wait, we saw a killer preview! I missed the title of the movie, it doesn't come out until January, but was an awesome preview of some kids in NY at a party, like being filmed on a camcorder, and it looks sort of like a horror movie but I'm thinking there are way too many people around. And then there is a huge explosion and something throws the head of the Statue of Liberty down the street. Way awesome destruction, and I always love the preview that doesn't give much away. So I'm all excited by that, and I just pray the producers are smart and that is all I ever see about it until the movie comes out. I'm positive that if I find out what the monster is (aliens? Godzilla? Mini-Me?) the movie will be less fun. I wish I didn't have to wait until January, but I'm stoked. Way more than for the movie called "Superbad". Now, while you may have noticed I'm a fan of the hyperbolic adjective, I somehow think that calling your movie "Superbad" is like giving the critics a rope to hang you with. Just saying.