3...2...1...NCLEX

So I took the NCLEX. I have to be very careful about what I say, since I signed all this paperwork that basically says if I spill any beans I will be unable to ever feel happiness again, or be forced to do an edition of "Big Brother" with Michael Moore, Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity as my roommates, or have my genetic code altered to make me permanently allergic to pizza, Cinnabon and cheese fondue. Or something along those lines anyway, I didn't read all the fine print, but it is definitely bad.

I don't know what I expected, but it was surprisingly formal with fingerprints and all. I took the test along with a girl named Sarah. I know her name was Sarah only because it said so on her earrings. Now of course I am fascinated with people who feel the need to wear their name, like unless it is somewhere visible on their bodies they might just forget. Especially if said name is bejewelled, I mean, how many of us have the guts to do that? But I thought, if you have to wear your name, how the heck do you remember acid/base balances or med side-effects or the principles of non-violent communication? Also, it would have been more awesome if her name had been Laverne, but I digress.

Anyhoo, the test was fun, and by fun I mean it sucked. The very first question was reasonable, but after that it is just a blur of me going "You're kidding, right?" to the computer. It stopped at 75 questions leaving me quite freaked out. Sarah was still going, I'm not sure if she was just slower or if she was being unfairly given more opportunities to pass the dang thing. I left feeling quite confident. Quite confident that I had failed. I graduated summa cum laude just to fail my boards?!?! Instead of getting on the subway I walked the three miles home just to start planning where I might get accepted into nursing school again, because clearly I hadn't learned anything and was going to have to start over from the very beginning. Let's see, which end of the needle goes into the patient? Oh right, the sharp end. That would be a good place to start from.

But a strange thing happened. I passed. I really don't know how, because based on that exam I'm a complete boob when it comes to anything related to nursing. But it is their mistake, and now the world will have to forever suffer Robb, RN. Bwa-ha-ha!!!

I have one more week before I have to grow up and start the first "real" job of my life. So of course we are running off to NYC for a few days to see some friends and a few shows. Then next Monday the fun starts.

Crap.