Monday, June 18, 2007

Fun at Union Station

This morning we headed to Union Station to meet David's sister and her youngest son for lunch. They are here on a school tour from Idaho, so were part of 50 8th graders and chaperones making a mad dash through NYC and DC. Unfortunately their tour was running late, so instead of spending lunch with them, we just got to chat while they ordered lunch to go and then had to take off for the Washington Monument. Even if it was brief, it was cool to see them. Actually I'm not even sure I did get to see our nephew Gage. There was a boy there who said he was him, but he was wearing a t-shirt that said "Witness Relocation Program" so you can never be sure, I hear those guys are pretty tricky. It was probably an agent in a lot of prosthetic make-up or something. He did seem a whole lot taller than the last time I saw him, so it wouldn't surprise me if wasn't really him. And besides, what 8th grade boy looks past all the pizza and burgers in a food court and orders sushi? I didn't discover the deliciousness that is sushi until I was treated to it by Baz Luhrmann in my twenties. (A starving artist never turns down free food, even if it is raw fish.) In 8th grade I don't think I'd even started eating vegetables yet. Anyway, it all seems a bit suspicious now that I look back on it.

When they ran off to see the monuments, we decided to check out the movie theatre. After spending quality time with family in the food court, we wanted to see a movie that would further uplift our spirits and, you know, make us better people for having watched it. So we went to Fantastic Four. Now, I haven't read any reviews for the movie, but this movie was so lame it even managed to diminish the Hotness of Jessica Alba and her super-cool force field powers. (Angelina is the only movie star who is consistently hotter than Alba was in "Sin City"). Movie producers, please take note, no one is interested in superheros who just sit around complaining about how miserable they are and how lame it is that they can turn invisible and save people's lives, when all they want is to be "normal". BORING!!!!!! (This means you Spidey!) Whine on your own time, not on my $9.25, all I want to see is the joy and fun in kicking the super-villan's butt, with a whole lot of special effects along the way. And maybe some kung-fu. That is what summer is about, not comic book movies trying to pretend they are Important and Meaningful. Just stick to Fun and Entertaining thank you very much.

However, the Union Station Movie Theatre did not disappoint in entertainment value. About ten minutes into the movie, this large family comes into the theatre. Parents, teenagers, babies, the whole gamut. The problem is, in a large theatre where there are only about twenty other people sitting ALREADY WATCHING THE MOVIE, they can't seem to find a suitable seat. They sit down, they stand up and walk around, they try a new seat, they stand up and just stand there a while to see if the seat gets more comfortable after they've gotten tired of standing, and of course are talking at full voice the entire time. At this point in the movie Jessica Alba is complaining about her wedding not being perfect, which couldn't possibly be less interesting, so I turned my attention to the family and the other people in the theatre, who were for some reason getting rather upset at the distraction. Some of the family sit in one place, and yell at the others to come sit by them, and the others yell back that no they should come sit by them, and then a couple from each group get up and trade seats across the theatre. Someone finally yells at them to shut up, and of course the family members are incredulous that someone could possibly be so RUDE to them, and about three of them tell him off while poor Plasticman is getting all rubbery in the legs because he is so scared about getting married (get it, weak kneed? But literally? Ah, the cleverness of the filmmakers astounds me).

Finally they seemed to settle. I think there may have been usher interference, but at that point the silver surfer showed up so I started actually paying attention to, well, not the story really, but the special effects anyway. Near the very end of the movie when it got really boring again when the Fantastic Four decide not to split up after all because, hey, they've learned something today, that maybe saving the world is more important than just being "normal", a couple of them - adults, mind you - got up and moved from somewhere behind me to two rows directly ahead of me. I don't know why, the movie ended about 3 milliseconds later, I'm not sure why they had to see the final shots from those seats, since they were talking and not paying any attention anyway. I love people. They are just so freaking weird.

Now they better not even *think* of showing up when I come later this summer to watch "Hairspray". No one and I mean NO ONE gets between me and my enjoyment of all things Allison Janney. But for this movie? Sweet.

1 comment:

  1. Thats why I always buy jawbreakers at the movie theatre: They are areodynamic, hard, and if you have a decent aim, always fly where you throw them. Like at the backs of peoples head.