Head Of Skate

I missed the Matt Damon quote (hey, I don't pay attention to EVERYTHING), but still, this is pretty funny satire.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Seriously?

Jeff Probst has a sense of humor

As if you needed another reason to love Probst, do yourself a favor and watch this video of Jeff giving an Entertainment Weekly reporter a tour of the Tribal Council area. Stay through til the end for more proof of why Jeff deserved his Emmy as best Reality Show host.

Sarah Silverman hearts Obama

If you know who Sarah Silverman is, and if you think she is funny, and if you heart Obama too, then you should go here and watch her appeal to Jewish voters for Obama. If you don't, then you probably shouldn't, as she tends to use very, uh, colorful language, which is why I'm not actually embedding the video here. But it is hilarious.

Survivor, saving me from the winter blues

SURVIVOR: GABON, EPISODES 1&2

The music, the animals, the Probst. My life is complete again.

I don't know that I'm going to do complete recaps this season, or at least the recap formula isn't going to be my goal this time around. However, I love dishing about it, which probably often will mean talking about everything that happened, so who knows how this column will actually turn out. Basically I am just trying to give myself some cover if I feel lazy and don't want to be as thorough as I've sometimes been in the past. But don't get me wrong. I still think Survivor is the best show on TV. Ever. (What, you thought I was going to say "The Honeymooners"?)

New this season: actual interaction with the animals and scenery they show in the montages. Usually they get some wildlife photographer to go out and get all this great footage, but always at an undetermined distance away from the actual contestants, whom rarely see the whales or sharks or monkeys or waterfalls or whatever. But this time we start in an absolutely gorgeous green valley, which we revisit for the challenges, which I am stoked about. The valley is a nice change from the nondescript locations of previous shows. And one of the camps has a close encounter with some elephants in the dark, which is awesome, although the event gets overshadowed with some dude getting the slow death award by giving himself a nasty gash in the head that is bound to get infected. Unfortunately he is no Jonathan and I doubt I'm going to feel all that sad when he starts crying about how unfair it is that he has to leave in another episode or two.

So we had two episodes back to back, which was great. The first four episodes are usually a bit of a throwaway as we are just trying to get to know the players, and it is hard to get too worked up about who gets booted, unless it happens to be someone who is, you know, attractive. Cause then it is a bummer. Luckily that didn't happen this time. Almost. But not. Well, yet.

Immediately I'm intrigued by Crystal, who won an Olympic Gold relay medal in Athens, although sadly I don't actually remember her (and there is no doubt that I watched her race). If they'd gotten, say, Lauren Williams, who lost two Olympic relay medals by dropping the baton, I would have been so stoked. Still, this is a girl who should be fun, athletic, and who should know how to talk to the camera to make things fun. So imagine my surprise when she falls to pieces on the first challenge, and then blames her sneakers - that she picked out to bring with her - for being too heavy. Hmmm. Still, she has a fun personality and is very mom-pretty, so I'm still into her. But please, please, let there be a race that she can dominate cause that would be totally awesome.

Obviously I am totally loving Charlie and his boy-crush on Marcus, who reminds me terribly of Patrick Wilson. I also love, of course, that Marcus is cool enough to not be freaked out by it, and seems (so far) to be genuinely taking advantage of the bond to make a pretty real alliance with him. They pick two pretty girls to go with them, and talk about (but never actually approach) Boy Scout Bob to be their swing. Not only good strategy, but at this point in the game they all seem like the kind of people I'd love to see win. (As long as Corrine tones down the "I'm not here to make friends" nonsense. Save that stuff for later.) I loved when the boys were talking about how smart Corrine is, and the camera cuts to a shot of her talking to someone and nodding, as if she were saying "Yes, yes I am the smartest person here."

I guess I'm fine with them calling it "Exile Island" even when it is a little camp by a lake and not, technically, an island. I do like the twist of choosing shelter over the clue. Separates the men from the boys. I thought they were foolish for sending Nick Lachey I mean Dan to Exile, but it turned out to be a smart move as his team got a huge case of the paranoia and almost voted him out thinking he had the idol. The one team has lost every challenge so far, and I HATE blowout seasons, but if we have to go down that boring road, I'd rather they go out spectacularly, and so if they start voting out their strongest players that is fine with me. I can understand voting out the entirely unpleasant Michelle, who starting things out with a totally annoying chip on her shoulder and dug her own grave a little every time she opened her mouth. And I liked the old lady, but at this point in the game you have to go for strength. Sorry moms!

The jury is still out on the video nerd, who is both at times very appealing (seeming very athletic when he was climbing on the balls to untie the keys) and then gets dangerously close to Cook Islands Billy territory as he gets attention from a real live girl in Michelle. Also on Sugar, whom I like a lot (much like I also like 1940's inspired Kenley over at Project Runway), but it is yet unclear whether she really has the skills to be interesting on this kind of show or if she will just be follower Indian boring.

Medical side note: Gillian is a nurse, but yet was complaining about it being too dark for her to help the unpleasant wedding-video dude when he cut his head and is bleeding profusely all over his face. Um, maybe you can't heal it, but couldn't you at least put pressure on it? (Heh, it looked pretty cool though, I bet all the cameramen were like "No! Don't mess up my shot!") Also, medically speaking, why don't any of the residents at my hospital look like Marcus? Just asking.

Am I wrong, or is this the first season Jeff is wearing shorts?

Yeah, so maybe not a true recap, but I can't resist talking about it all. I was getting all depressed because it is getting cold outside, but at least I will have Survivor to warm my heart.

Fake Beard

Kyle, this one is for you.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

See, Obama likes everyone!

Despite the fact he posts "Pro" arguments that desperately try to find something, anything, good to say about Nic Cage movies like "Face/Off" or "City Of Angels", (each of which should be two words long only, "Joan Allen" and "Meg Ryan" respectively), my blog friend Fletch does have the only movie-blog around worth reading.

But he's upped the ante and started a new blog called "Obampliments", which to me is silly hilarity. Here are some examples:




This Obama even takes requests. You know you have someone to email a compliment to. Do it today!

At least no one threw up this time

Yesterday we went to Six Flags. We figured it we should probably use our season passes one last time, since we've only gone twice all summer. It was just as ghetto as ever, with broken rides all over the place, although not as bad as last time. Although I still am not sure how comfortable I am riding a roller coaster that was closed for maintenance just a half hour ago.

Anyway, safe or not, we at least got to ride all our favorite rides. Meaning the three rides that are actually good. Two of them were broken for a while. And the ridiculous bad and inefficient way they manage their rides will never cease to amaze me. I mean, I could do better. But whatever, the park was almost empty so we only actually had to wait for the Batman ride. When it was our turn we tried to get on, but the safety vest was closed and I couldn't get it to release to get in. The attendant finally made it over and fiddled with it and said "I guess it is broken". So I said "OK, then I guess we will have to wait for the next car." And he said "Are you sure?" Um, what is my other option? Riding the ride that hangs you upside down without wearing the seatbelt?

On the way out we notice we are just in time to see a live musical revue show. These kinds of shows are, of course, always bad, but can be totally enjoyable in their own way, so we sat down. We ended up with mothers taking photos on either side of us, so we knew we had to be on our best behavior and not laugh at things too much. The show started, and it was just as awesome as we'd hoped/feared, filled with humiliating choreography and medleys that included songs from "Rent" to Christian pop. Then about ten minutes in, the show lurches to a stop and a voice says "Due to technical difficulties we have to stop the show." This park is so ghetto that even the live shows break down!


Then we drove over to Roosevelt Island, which we've heard about but never gone to, and just walked around for a while. Very pretty, and we even saw a deer. Actually, it is kind of funny, because David can find bugs hiding on the bottom side of leaves, but he is totally blind to anything larger than a small dog. The deer practically walked right up to us on the side of the trail and he walked right by it, much like he did the moose in Newfoundland, but the deer wasn't even hidden behind a bush.

The statue of Roosevelt is kind of funny looking. Doesn't he seem to be screaming "Dang kids! Get off my lawn!"

Catch up, plus you can cut off a toe with just a scalpel

I've been neglecting my poor blog the past few weeks, as I've been working a bunch of overtime. Not sure I'm going to be able to totally catch up with everything, but I'm gonna try and keep caught up going forward anyway. But we are having another couchsurfer come tomorrow (a guy from India who lives in Scotland), and we did enjoy our pair of Australians. So that is still a lot of fun. Then a friend from California is going to be in town running a big charity walk, and then we are going to NY for a weekend to see [title of show]. We have time for one more show, does anyone have an opinion on what we should see? We're kind of gravitating either towards the replacement cast of August: Osage County or the preview cast of Billy Elliot. Anyway, then my parents are coming for a week. So the busy never really stops.

I did just finish a three-day conference on diabetic limb salvage. Basically, people with advanced diabetes loose feeling in their feet, and then because they can't feel anything, they get sores that never heal and get infected and then have to be cut off. The docs are pretty amazing at cutting off just the bad pieces instead of the entire foot like they used to have to do, and we had several cases with live video from the OR to show us just that. One time they cut off a toe. Another time they cut off half a toe, and I'm not sure which one of those made me squirm the most. Totally crazy. Also got to watch a fem-pop bypass and the doc let the blood squirt everywhere just to show us how good a graft it was.

Still trying to decide what kind of nurse I want to be when I grow up. I was thinking dialysis, because I really like the idea of getting very specific, but I don't really like the idea of working MWF or TThS. Although once I had enough experience I could go to a hospital for acute dialysis which might be better. Thought about PACU, but I pretty much refuse to work on-call hours if I don't have to. (I did that as a temp for a while just out of college, and I HATED IT). Chemo doesn't really seen specific enough, but at least I'd still get to do floor hours as opposed to clinic hours. Maybe wound/ostomy. But I dunno, that might mean clinic work too. Anyway, I don't plan to leave my current floor until next Sept at the very earliest, so I've certainly got time to think about it.

Reason #653 I hate David:

We were lying on the couch and I was massaging his face with my feet, and by massaging I mean I was using my feet to make him make funny faces, which was of course very funny. And without missing a beat he said "Stop toe-menting me!". I hate people that can come up with instant puns, because I can't. He won because then I was laughing so hard I had to stop.

Political funny goes Golden Girls

More proof that Golden Girls is the best sitcom ever. Also, the person who spent the time putting this together wins my love but also my fear because he is clearly an unemployed crazy person.

Did you ever wonder what your name would be if Sarah Palin were your mother?

Chalk Revelations Palin.

Or, using "Robert", my Palin name would be

Rankle Hiway Palin

Yeah, I'm glad I'm a Robb, Chalk is WAY better than Rankle.

Even worse, "Rob" (I shudder to type that) would be

Stinger Assassin Palin

C'mon, you know you want to find out what your Palin name would be. Leave them in the comments so I can enjoy too. :)

Non-Partisan Funny

I haven't watched SNL regularly since Phil Hartman left the show, but these two ladies are masters of comedy.

Les Misbarack

A silly diversion that combines musical theatre with politics? Does it get any better? ::grin::

Remember the Coke and Mentos guys?

EepyBird's Sticky Note experiment from Eepybird on Vimeo.

Maybe not as exciting as exploding sugar, but still a cool visual.

What happened to the principled campaign I was expecting from McCain?

I hate that this video ends up being so snarky, because I think it undercuts what is actually a very valid point with trivial sarcasm. But the point is valid. Also interesting is that even though I've not really been paying attention, I've still heard her line about "We told the federal government 'Thanks but no thanks' for the Bridge To Nowhere", which also turns out to be a big fat lie. Here you can see the actual timeline, where she campaigned in Alaska as a supporter of it. Basically, Congress halted the project over a year before Palin decided it would be politically advantageous for her to withdraw her support. Even then, the money for the project had already been received, and did she return the money to Congress with a principled "Thanks but no thanks"? No, she kept the money to spend on other pet projects, including building a road to the site where the bridge would have been built. Look, I can't blame her for working under the system that is already there, any more than I can blame her for getting meal and housing per diem payments for nights where she was actually staying at home, if that is ok under the existing rules of Alaska. But I can certainly be upset at the hypocrisy when she then turns around and tries to lie about what she was actually doing.

Palin is new to the global stage, so I expect her to make mistakes. But John McCain should know better than to be letting her campaign on lies. He has taken his campaign into the gutter, doing anything he can to win. And the sad thing is that it just might work. I just wonder how much he is going to respect himself in the morning.

Taking a break from the insanity of politics

Another Tuesday morning, another week at work finished. This weekend was what last weekend was supposed to be like: only moderately busy, even quiet at times. We still had strange surges of med students at odd times, but maybe they are cramming for tests or extra credit or something.

I did get to take care of one of those rare creatures, a 70 year old woman who was totally adorable and sweet. She told me I was so nice that she wanted to take me to see Tina Turner in concert, whom she had just seen on Oprah. Then she told me I should call her sometime. Awkward!

I actually did look up the Tina Turner concert, and she is even performing here in DC. However even though I get to buy tickets early thanks to my American Express card, the entire floor section is already sold out to scalpers. The seats that are left are only available through Ticketmaster, which can I just say is the biggest scam of the century. On top of the $140 ticket price, they want to charge a $24 convenience charge. PER TICKET. Then you have to pay to pick up your tickets - you even have to pay $5 if you just want to print them yourself on your own computer. Really? Really, Ticketmaster? I say, you sucketh! So no Tina for us, because even if we were willing to spend all that money, we are rapidly losing interest in seeing anything where we can't sit right down in front. Our days of balcony seating are pretty much over and done with.

And I know, I know, I still have way more Canadian blogging to do. I need David's collaboration on the next post to help identify some of the pics, but we haven't had time to collaborate. But more is coming, I promise.

We have an Australian Tug-Boat pilot staying with us at the moment, and tonight we get another Australian, a girl who is coming to the area for a blues dancing event. I don't know what that is, but I can't wait to find out. People are awesome.

Funnies

Obama on Community Organizers

Or, to put it in a more funny way (and apologies to whomever I'm stealing this line from but I can't remember where I read it):

Jesus was a community organizer. Pontius Pilate was a governor.

CNN: Tucker Bounds On Palin Foreign Policy Experience

Even the McCain campaign itself has a hard time defending their pick with anything but empty rhetoric. These kinds of mistakes aren't the most important thing in the world, but it is frustrating to live in La-La-Land where instead of just answering the questions honestly, owning up to mistakes and then moving on in a new direction, everyone instead spends all this time trying to deny that a mistake ever happened so we get stuck in this stupid news cycle and can't move beyond it to get to the real meaty questions of the day. Please stop pretending that this pick was anything but policial, and that this political decision undercuts your political message of the last few months that our decision on who to vote for should be based on nothing more than who has more military experience. Trying to make it sound like Palin has all this experience that any rational person can tell she doesn't have not only makes you (Tucker) look like an idiot, it also makes Palin look bad because you are trying to cover something up. Stop pretending, and let her be proud of the things she really has to be proud of. In other words, let her stand on her own merits, instead of the phony rhetoric your campaign wants to spin. The American public isn't as stupid as you apparently think, and we can tell the difference.

You must watch this

Jon Stewart is my new boyfriend. Thanks for pointing out the hypocrisy that is currently coming out of an apparently desperate right-wing media. Plus, funny!

I earned my paycheck this weekend

I picked up some more overtime this weekend, working four days in a row. I figured, hey, it is a holiday weekend, so it should be nice and quiet. WRONG! We were lousy with doctors running around writing new orders, which sucked but was also good in many cases because through some weird convergence the patients on the floor were unusually heavy. And by heavy I don't mean fat (although some of them were), but everyone was very sick with lots of stuff going on. One lady was pooping blood, one guy had to get a paracentesis at the bedside to drain 5 liters of fluid out of his abdomen, one guy was rejecting a pancreas transplant so was on an insulin drip that his blood sugar checked every hour, one guy started turning blue and had to be intubated and rushed off to the ICU, it was just non-stop. Oh, and then there was the lady with the ostomy, and some brilliant med student managed to open it up (why? who knows) and dump out the green pre-poop all over her bed. She was so mad at him, as was I, and he was trying to cover up his fear with fake confidence that was a little annoying, but at least he stuck around until it was all cleaned up so I'll give him credit there.

I've been trying to keep up with the blogosphere, where everybody is all talking about Palin. I tried watching her speech, but considering the effort it took for me to pay attention to all 45 minutes of Obama's speech, whom I generally agree with, there was no way I had it in me to suffer through hers. I really hope she doesn't turn out to be the lightweight so many people seem to think she is. I mean, the McCain team has been a disaster at rolling her introduction out, and I do feel sorry for her family. So I do hope she has more to bring to the table than just her creepy evangelical appeal, because I'm uncomfortable watching otherwise nice people fail so publicly. I just can't wait until next week when all this obnoxious convention posturing is over and done with.

Politics are boring, but at least we have Jon Stewart

At this point I'm not feeling the need to comment much on Palin, since everything seems to be in such flux. We'll see what happens tonight.

I was in a patient's room last night when Lieberman spoke. I'm sorry, but political speeches are SO BORING, and I thought his was terrible and even awkward. Anyway, to me he seems much less like the "Independent" he likes to say he is and more like someone who got his feelings hurt from the Democrats picking someone else over him and so he is getting revenge. But whatever.

But reason #1 I could never vote for the current Republican party. Because this is now a party that will never admit that McCain was tortured as a POW. If they admit that what happened to him was torture, they open themselves up to charges as war criminals. So now he was just "beaten". I know, I know, all politicians are tricky with wordplay, and everyone is a hypocrite, and conventions are the time for huge rhetoric. But more than anything else the current administration has done, the one thing I will never, ever forgive them for is making America a country that tortures people and tried to weasel out of it with fancy turns of phrase. McCain can't raise his arms over his head anymore, but hey, that wasn't torture. This is what they've stolen from him, and since he is willing to sell his soul to try to win, he can't even argue it.

Also, isn't it a little bit funny that McCain and Palin both have made such a big deal out of the fact that Palin's teenage daughter made her own choice to keep her (as yet unborn) baby, yet both of them support policies to take away that choice from her?

Update: Hmmm, that was some sloppy word choice. I'm glad the girl made the choice to keep her baby, I have no issue with her at all. It is just the political posturing that annoys me.