Survivor: Gabon, Episode 9 Recap

We start out with me groaning in disgust, as Bob tells Sugar about his fake immunity idol. For serious Bob? Believe me, I was ready to write a four paragraph grievance of how Bob had let me down with his absolute dumbassery, as I couldn't begin to imagine what he was thinking the upside of trusting Sugar could possibly be. But, having seen the episode, let's just move on for now.

Corrine, who remains a bad guy in the best of Survivor tradition, hates everyone but realizes she needs some game stat. I like that. Randy, who remains a bad guy in the worst of any possible definition, hates everyone and seems to have confused his strategy for getting screen time with the strategy of actually performing well in the game. I don't like that.

Who doesn't like the auction? It always produces some drama and excitement, and right off the bat Sugar is clearly gunning for Randy, which makes me like her. Considering he is the de facto frontrunner at this point, Kenny displays some real weakness in his inability to focus. Spend the damn money, you have to play to win. Corrine plays it smart, and waits for her moment to get a game changer. It doesn't end up helping her, but that is a risk worth paying $500 for. But leave it to Randy to be weirdly hateful when he gets a plate of cookies for the tribe. What the? I 100% believe that in his head, Randy is playing all of this on purpose, thinking it will somehow help him. However, you can't pretend to be this much of an ass if don't already have tendancies to assiness. Sugar, in the first of her two masterstrokes, plays him beautifully, and as he mockingly offers her the last cookie, she snaps it up and immediately hands it to Matty. If tribal council had happened right then, I would have given her the million dollars right there no questions asked, what a gorgeous moment. Randy's head virtually exploded, and Jeff, who was having all of his Christmases at once, refused to interfere. I. Love. Survivor.

With Bob off collecting priceless video footage of himself hiking in the African hills around exile "island", Randy turns to Corrine and says, "Here is a plan. I will pretend to be crazy (HA!) and make everyone mad at me, then when Bob comes back with the Idol we'll convince him to give it to me to blindside everyone else, and we can vote off Susie for revenge. Isn't that a great plan?" To which Corrine's secret thought bubble has to say "That is a lame plan, but it doesn't risk me and it is theoretically possible for that plan to work, so since I have no other options I say lets go for it." I love that they can't seem to comprehend the possibility that Sugar might have the idol. Nick Lachey must have really laid it on thick about exile to them.

Randy of course has no problem getting everyone to hate him. Matty's reaction to his implosion is fantastic. "Dude, don't do this." Matty was, actually, their best bet at swinging something, but Randy killed that possibility right quick.

Bob returns, and while Corrine and Randy dawdle, Sugar makes her second move of genius. She gets Bob alone and says "Give Randy your fake Idol, and in exchange for letting me bask in the superawesomeness of watching Randy utterly humiliated, you not only get another three days but I promise I will totes help you out later." I have little idea of what Bob actually thinks about the game of Survivor, but knowing he is a marked man anyway, takes her lifeline. Suddenly I realize that this entire season has been a lead up to this episode. And while it won't end up being a favorite season of mine, I at least realize that the last eight episodes have all been worth it, just for this. Sugar can barely contain herself at tribal council she is so filled with secret glee. But she isn't the only one, and Crystal makes me love her all over again during the vote when she starts yelling to the camera about how much she hates the person she is voting for. Cut to Jeff (not to mention everyone else, including me) trying really hard not to pee his pants in delight.

Randy plays his idol. He and Corrine have a that delicious smug look, as do Marcus and Charlie, and Jeff strings out the moment as long as possible. "This......is...........not an idol." Sugar and Crystal do everything except the "Nyah nyah" taunt, laughing their way to another week, as Randy, DESERVEDLY, goes home. I hereby title this post, "A little bit of Sugar helps the medicine go down."

That feeling you are feeling is the joy coming back to Survivor again. Such a refreshing beverage.

I still think this is a weak season overall, but the genius of Survivor is that even a lame season can bring a moment of pure juicy and delicious perfection. With my lowered expectations, at this point I can say I'd be down with just about anyone winning, excepting Susie, since despite her fire win, which was significant, still hasn't shown an ounce of ability at the outwit. Corrine is really going to have to fight for it next week, although we will see if Sugars promise to Bob actually means anything or not. (Notice he still voted for Susie, so she possibly has an out.) More importantly, I am VERY CURIOUS about the teaser that shows Bob telling Corrine about getting the idol that Marcus threw into the ocean. If true, that would be a significant bit of hidden awesomeness, cleverly hid by the editing. If not true, well, lets just wait and see what happens before I start complaining about Bob again. But that is possibly the best teaser for "Next time on...Survivor" they have ever had.