Survivor, or Why I Love Television

I really don't think there is anything more beautiful and satisfying than some boring commercial ending and me hearing Jeff Probst say "Previously (pause) on Survivor."

Last night was a pretty typical second episode. Set up some feuds, but in the process introduce us to a few more people. I generally get the feeling that many of the fights are blown out of proportion via slick editing, but still you can learn a lot about people by the way they deal with others. As is always the case, the early challenges are always skewed for the stronger team, and poor little Frosti just can't compete with the fighting machine that is the Gravedigger. But watching the cocky "leader" Zoolander stumble was worth it (and props to Pro-Wrestler for coming up with that apt moniker for the former model). The mud wrestling was a little over the top for my tastes (just about everyone ended up somewhat naked, but if you are just going to blur it all out anyway, then Jeff is the one that gets any titilation out of it.)

However I was quite interested in the whole "kidnapping" thing. It didn't seem appropriately named, since she was really a guest and not like a slave which would have been more delicious. But the fact that she had a clue to a hidden immunity idol and had to give it to someone on the opposing team makes for very interesting game. And give the cute girl points for giving it to who she identified as the weakest member of the team, potentially keeping the other team weaker and having an ally come merge time that just might be weaker than you when you're done with them. I'm curious if she will tell her team what she did to get credit, or if she will keep it to herself in the hopes of finding the hidden idol herself.

She chose Christian Talk Show Lady, who at one point started to cry because she was sick and tired and didn't have her Bible with her. I imagine the unseen interviewer fished that comment out of you, but at some point I'm going to have to stop making excuses for you honey. You are on Survivor. If you want my loyalty you're gonna have to be a bit tougher than that.

The clue told us that the immunity idol is hidden in plain sight, and the cameras showed us where it was and her walking right by it over and over again. Which is unfair I suppose, because it just makes her look stupid, but still. Interestingly, she gave up and decided to get someone to help her, and turned to Gay Mormon Flight Attendant (GMFA) to help her, because "he is really witty". Her church talk is always edited to make her seem foolish, but in practice she is either genuinely just a nice person to everyone or is just willing to make whatever deals with the devil as it takes to win the game. Either way, I respect that. GMFA is still, in my opinion, playing his game too hard and obvious (and continually patting himself on his back for it), but I'd rather that than someone who doesn't have game at all. Anyway GMFA was flabbergasted that Bible-Missing Woman enlisted his help, and his first thoughts were of getting rid of her and finding the idol for himself, I'm sure confirming to the Christian viewers of Survivor that all the Gay Mormon Flight Attendants of the world are evil selfish sinners, and confirming to me that there is no excuse for the lame casting on "Pirate Master" because people like GMFA are definitely out there. But despite all his "wit", so far GMFA seemingly hasn't found the idol either, so we'll have to see how that plays out. Immunity idols that belong to a group make for incredibly difficult decisions (and Super Awesome tribal councils as we saw last season), so we'll have to see what happens with that.

The jury is still out on Jean-Rober the poker player. He seems like a lazy jerk, but he tells us he is cultivating that image on purpose so that when the time really does come to step it up he can make some big improvements to impress people. I'm not sure if that is a winning strategy or not, making people (including me) not like you so early on, but at least it does seem to be a genuine strategy. Also, casting people, what is up with having not one but two pot bellied contestants? Actually Zoolander looks like he lost 50 pounds in the three weeks before shooting started so his belly skin is all loose and flabby like he just had twins or something. I'll sacrifice hot bodies for good contestants any day (Rich Hatch, Rupert, Yao), but in the past you've been able to find people with both, which is always better. (Terry anyone? Stephanie? Or that lawyer who ran around Panama in boxer shorts and a suit jacket?)

Tribal Council was pretty boring, and they unfortunately booted off the Wrestler, who I really liked despite the creepy lip piercings. I understand wanting harmony in the camp, but you also need your strong players this early and she was probably the strongest woman in the competition. I suspect it is a choice they will later regret. The previously invisible Schoolteacher was obviously pissed about voting her off, because she really laid into Zoolander and then started crying, but she voted with the group nonetheless. For me this was very remnicent of last season when they voted off that cool girl with the afro way too early. But there is still plenty of time for me to fall in love with other players.

The one lame thing about Survivor is that I'm constantly subjected to commercials for CSI, a show that jumped the shark in its second season and is now just dark and creepy and totally unwatchable. Ick. Can we all please agree to stop watching that crap so it will go away already? Please?

No, I don't answer the phone at work

The last four days have been pretty long, two days on the floor and two of class. We had the best speakers at class yesterday, one was an NP who is on a thoracic surgery team, and she had these freaking awesome pictures from a camera they insert inside the chest wall after they've deflated one lung to look for cancer and stuff. It was just like a little cave with the ribs on top and a deflated lump of lung on the bottom. Just when I thought it couldn't get any better she started talking about people with esophogeal cancer, and how they have to remove the esophagus completely to prevent recurrence. I thought she was going to talk about some kind of artificial or animal esophogus replacement, but no, they just grab the stomach from the abdomen, and pull it right up into the chest and connect it in your neck! Can you even believe they can do that?!? PS - it is awesome, but trust me you don't want to have to resort to that, so please get your reflux taken care of early!

Then the transplant nurse came. She said that if someone on dialysis gets a kidney transplant, and say the new kidney is rejected and fails, if it lasts for even three days it will add a year onto the persons life expectancy. If it lasts 60 days, it will add five years onto their life expectancy. The average life expectancy for someone on dialysis is 7.5 years, so transplant can make a HUGE difference.

Mostly I've been pretty excited about work, but I have to admit I've been a little overwhelmed this week. It is so much responsibility, and there is so much I still need to learn, and I'm learning so much but there is always more. So yeah, sorry Kyle, but when I turned my cell phone on last night I realized it had been off for four days. Oops. ::grin:: Also, for anyone that ever calls my house phone, the only reason we got that phone was for the alarm system. We never answer it because it is 99% telemarketers. If you do call leave a long enough message that I can run to the phone to answer it if I'm home. But email is always best.

One quick story that made me feel like maybe I'm on the right track, but I went in to see an elderly patient, and he was sleeping. I tried talking with him, because as everyone knows nurses can't possibly allow our patients to ever get uninterrupted sleep, and something seemed off. He woke up enough to answer questions, said he felt fine and was just really sleepy, but my spider sense started tingling nonetheless. So I grabbed a glucometer, and his blood sugar was 33 (that's less than half of normal mom.) A half amp of D50 (sugar water) later he was doing much better. Until he stood up at 6:50pm and peed/pooped all over the floor. ::sigh:: But that is another story. lol

Now I have two days off, and I intend on relaxing a bit. Maybe a nice sweaty jog will be a good thing too.

I think I'm gonna like it here

I have to work this week four days in a row, never my favorite. Three and a half days of class, a day and a half on the floor. Today is the half day class/half day on the floor, and they are the worst because it is so awkward to come on mid-shift and try and pick things up.

However, no complaints, because yesterday was like the best weather day ever. Just that perfect temperature, not warm, not cool, just like that temperature that you can't feel at all, plus like one degree. It was gorgeous.

Also, did I mention I got a raise? Like six weeks on the job at the hospital is doing so well they gave everyone a 3.5% raise. It works out to almost another dollar an hour. How sweet is that? So far I'm really liking this working-man stuff.

Help!

A few weeks ago David and I bought a super good-looking dresser for our bedroom. Perfect color, perfect size, perfect number of drawers. The one problem, that we didn't think about until we got it home, is that the previous owner was a smoker and the drawers all smell mildly of smoke. We tried Fabreeze, which not surprisingly didn't work. I googled something, and we next tried filling the drawers with kitty litter for a few days, which actually worked pretty well. But there is still a slight odor. Does anyone have any ideas of what else we might try? I want to get my clothes into the dresser already.

This is why life is good

And the storm clouds parted, revealing Jeff Probst on my television screen, and once again peace and happiness reigned throughout the land.

So Pirate Master may have been a bust (does anyone actually know who won? I keep forgetting to google that dang it), but Mark Burnett's summer failings are but a vague memory now that the sweet nectar that is Survivor is back on the air for another season providing well-needed nourishment to a quality reality-tv-starved audience. It is no secret that I am still nursing a huge fanboy crush on Jeff, who remains the gold-standard of reality program hosts (save perhaps Kathy Griffin on "My Life on the D-List", but that is a completely different genre of reality). He is not the Isabella Rossellini of my laminated list, he is right at the top. Heh.

Now, as all Survivor fans know, the first four episodes are always a bit awkward, like the first day of school or the first hour of a high school date with someone you really like but don't quite know yet. We don't know the characters, we don't really know what kind of twists to expect, and the producers have very little time to introduce you to a handful of characters very quickly so that come tribal council you have an opinion about who is in danger of getting voted off. By episode five things just tend to flow much better. But still, there are juicy moments of delight to be found.

So far, here are what I see of the real and potential cons of the season:

1- It is early to complain, but I'm never a fan of bad and/or negative attitudes. They almost always throw one or two in the mix to help guarantee that there is a story line to follow, which is the biggest negative of reality programming for me. And there seem to be more of these types than usual this season. Time will tell. But rolling your eyes at a monk is not a good way to endear yourself to the audience dear, I'm just saying. Nor is complaining that everyone is too nice to you. And don't use the fact that you live in New York as an excuse for ridiculing manners and, especially, culture. Real New Yorkers are nice, and like eating ethnic foods, and sit on the subway every day with people from a million different cultures and all get along fine. You, sweet thing, are just a scared little girl and somewhere along the line decided that being jaded at 22 was a good defense against things that scared you, but don't expect any sympathy from a TV audience that can see right through your pathetic blabber.

2- Gimme a break, how many cons do you expect me to come up with for the best show on television???

Pros:

1- China. Hello, they are in CHINA!! That is freaking awesome!! It means we are treated to gorgeous filler scenery transition shots all season long! They keep showing images of the Great Wall, and I bet they are actually hundreds of miles away, but I don't care. One team elected a leader, who said he was reluctant (but didn't really seem reluctant at all), but then said "Well this will be a sort-of democracy." And I was thinking, dude, you are in China, better off to say the tribe is Communist and then you don't have that big target on your back. Heh.

2- The producers are clearly trying to set up a conflict between the "Christian Radio Host" and the "Gay Mormon Flight Attendant". However we got no actual interaction between them at all. I was prepared to dislike the Radio Host after she walked out of a greeting ceremony that she later said felt too much like she was worshipping a false God. But she didn't get all crazy and actually handled the issue respectfully I thought, even if her retrospective game talk was weak. ("If people like me, great, if not, oh well." Why do people always say that? It is ok as an internal dialogue, but to say it to the face of strangers who are looking for any weakness to exploit in the very beginning is just stupid.) But more on her in a second. Gay Mormon Flight Attendant, or GMFA for now, is young and clearly wants to play the game, but I bet he ends up trying too hard. The best players just play. The weaker ones talk about playing and then just do stupid things. But we'll see.

3- The pro Poker Player. He was totally lame and went up to GMFA and said "I don't believe you are a flight attendant. I just get a vibe that you are really clever and are going to play really well." This statement got GMFA all a-flutter, as it was intended to do. However I don't think it was nearly as clever as PokerMan gave himself credit for, especially if he does it to anyone else. GMFA loved the compliment, even if it had no basis in reality, so wasn't able to see through the incredibly transparent gesture. But I doubt many others will be quite so gullible. Still, I love that kind of crap.

TRIBAL COUNCIL: The three with their heads on the block were the girl-pro-wrestler who got sick, the bossy Asian girl, and the old man who doesn't know how to play well with others. All three had very typical first-vote faults. The sick girl got better though, and I think could be a strong player, so I was rooting for her. Bossy girl also cried in frustration after they lost the challenge, which to me says she is WAY too wound up to be much help at anything. But the old man was the best. When they first arrived and started talking shelter, his way of sharing his experience and knowledge was just to not-so-subtly tell people that their ideas were bad. When they started getting upset at this behavior, he decided he would just keep his opinions to himself, which would be fine, except for when people would ask him direct questions about what he thought would work better and he refused to give an answer other than "Whatever you want to do is fine." This revealed such a profound lack of understanding of how to talk to people that I knew he wouldn't last long. Plus he was old. So indeed, he was the first given the boot. The best part is that it surprised him, and when he got booted he literally screamed "DAMN!", which has to rank as one of the better reactions of Tribal Council ever.

BEST MOMENT OF THE EPISODE: There is a huge black guy, all rippling with muscles, who is a gravedigger. He is very quiet though, and admitted he doesn't really know how to talk to people and prefers to be alone. But he seems like a nice guy. So none other than Christian Radio Host approaches him and quietly gives him a little personality pep talk. "Just be yourself and you and I will get along fine." Then she starts giving him advice on how to fit in with the others. "Just ask them questions, people love to talk about themselves." It was very smart advice, and I thought, this could be the start of a *very* interesting alliance.

The last few seasons have started with 20, and this one started with 16 players, so things should get to the point faster. And thankfully there was no racial division or anything boring like that. The last two seasons of Survivor have been especially strong, so it will be interesting to see how this one goes. I'd of course recommend that you watch along with me so you too can enjoy the fun, but if not, I'll keep you updated at least. ::grin::

Watch me do a Happy Dance

I am a happy boy.

I am also a total nerd/dorkasaurus, but you know that about me already, don't you?

This afternoon I met Matt. As in the number-one, original recipe, Dancing Man Matt. I'm sure I've shown or at least talked about this super freak guy to many of you before (I even have a link to his blog below), but for those of you new to His Awesomness, this is a guy who traveled around the world, took video of him dancing in front of Machu Picchu, elephants and Antartica, then spliced it all into a video and became internet famous for it. Then Stride gum company decided to sponsor him and sent him on another around the world trip, and he made another and even better video, and now, after a year of dancing on David Letterman and the Today show, is travelling around the world making yet a third video. I hate him so much that I must be in love.

But this time, instead of just dancing alone, he has been inviting people to dance with him. This is where David and I come into the picture, as his personal back up dancers. To be fair it wasn't just us, there were about 40 or so people that showed up. We met outside Union Station to sign up (and get free Stride gum!). There is a documentarian following Matt around, as well as a couple of reporters who were interviewing him and some of the other dancers. And there were some interesting fellow dancers. David wanted nothing to do with the reporters, but I said "Relax, we are way too boring for them to bother with", and I was totally right. One guy with crazy grey hair wore a big homemade Cat-In-The-Hat hat, and they loved talking to him. I heard him going on about how "Matt trancends the oneness that is all of us, reminding us that war is bad", and on and on and on. Another kid was rhapsodizing about all the things Matt represents, how he pulls cultures together and reminds us that we are all in this together. And hey, if he does all those things for you, then awesome. Personally, I get the feeling he is just a guy who likes to travel and dance and make fun videos, and I have a lot of fun watching them. But I'm just a simple guy with simple pleasures. At least the other dancers gave some interesting footage for the documentarian to use.

For my part, I was very excited/nervous about meeting Matt. I've been following his blog for over a year, and he talks about how awkward it can be meeting fans, and I didn't want to be annoying, so I got right to the point.

Me: "Hi, you're the Dancing Man! You totally rock!!"
Dancing Man Matt (who Totally Rocks): "Well you totally rock too!"

There were a bunch of people behind us to sign up, so, happy with his generous compliment, we moved along and bided our time. Bode our time? Whatever.

After they had everyone (old, young, nerds, jocks, quasi goth, parents, children, the whole spectrum), we walked over to this big fountain, behind which you could see the Capitol Building, and shot a couple of different videos there. It was really funny when we did a practice take the first time, and when Matt started dancing to get us in "the zone" we couldn't help it and broke into applause. lol He does the same dorky dance, which is basically his trademark at this point, and it was totally sweet to see live. When we took the video there was one lady tapping, and a couple of Europeans who seemed to be raving, but most of us just took Matt's lead and danced as badly as we could. All, of course, to the music in our minds. Then we walked a mile or so down the National Mall and took another video with the Washington Monument behind us, just so he would have some options come editing time. We were all dorks, and it was just a lot of silly fun.

After the dancing was done and my time had been well-boded, he was taking pictures with people and we asked him if we could get some video of me dancing with him, and he agreed! I was very impressed at how good a sport he was about everything, being the center of attention of a bunch of crazy nerds must be exhausting. I can't believe how many people asked him for a photo, and then once he was posing took like five minutes to figure out how to use their own cameras, but he never complained or hesitated. Or when we were walking to the different places and people would be like "Matt, so we could walk up this street three blocks and then over to to the Mall, and if the Mall is blocked off with fences I know this great spot..." and he would listen patiently and say "We scouted ahead this morning and know exactly where we want to go." Or one girl who out of nowhere yelled, "Matt! How about your next video could be naked dancing!" And he just smiled and said "Uh, Ok." At least the girl had enough sense after that to say "Now he's thinking, who invited that girl??"

I also learned a bit of gossip. He was in Africa and met up with Matt Lauer, who, by the way, I've heard is extremely charming and attractive in person, and this comes from Kathy Griffin herself, who I go to for all of my celebrity gossip as I'm sure she would never-ever lie, anyway Dancing-Man-Matt met him and Today-Show-Matt totally was embarassed to dance, and it took Al Roker to shame Today-Show-Matt into it. Now that sounds like good television.


Anyway, so I got a bit of footage of Matt and I dancing badly in front of the Capitol Building, which makes me forever happy. I'm trying to decide if this means I have to make another dancing video just so I can use it. But in any case the three of us got a photo. The new video has a tentative release date of June 21st of next year, so you are going to have to wait before I try and tell you where to look to see us (but you see from the photo we tried to dress colorfully). And of course there is also the possibility that he gets way better footage in Moscow and Zimbabwe and doesn't use our clip at all, but we'll all just have to wait and see.

I even took the day off from work to do this.

Happy, happy dork.

How I (almost) met Congressman Udall

A few days ago work sent all us new grad nurses on a scavenger hunt in the city. They split us into teams of 7-8 people, gave us a backpack with some water, an all-day Metro card and a $5 Starbucks card and said to be back at 3:00. I'd been campaigning pretty hard to make sure there was a prize for the winner, but in the end they said that a few years back someone was running to win and tripped and ended up on workmans comp so they don't do prizes anymore. Someone always ruins it for the rest of us.

But even without any real incentive, we had a great day. I saw the Hope Diamond, the Bill of Rights/Constitution/Magna Carta, we went to the WWII Memorial and the Einstein Monument and the Washington Monument. We went to one of the House Office Buildings and made like we were going to see a Congressman, but the Georgetown magazines they'd given us to give to our Congressman were from 2005, so we just took a picture outside of Congressman Udall's office instead. It is kind of weird that you can just walk into an office like that, but also pretty cool if you really had something you wanted to talk about.

We ended up being the last team back, which we were mocked for, and then no one was at all interested in what we had accomplished which was a little irritating since we'd done so much. But in the end I couldn't really complain, I met a couple of neat girls and we had a fun day in the sun, and was paid over $200 to do it. Not too bad.

Yesterday we went down to the river and wanted to go kayacking, but the winds were blowing and the only people out were the rowers. We walked along the Watergate and the Kennedy Center to see if the water would calm down, and eventually we did see two women working their way up the river in kayacks, but they didn't seem to be having any fun at all so I guess we might have to wait until spring to try out that idea. Besides the wind yesterday was the first day its been a little chilly. Not cold, it was like 75 degrees or something, but it certainly wasn't hot.

We walked home along the Mall, past a pro-War rally. "Support our troops, these colors don't run!!" Later we went to a movie and walked past a much larger anti-war rally. "Support our troops, bring them home!" I've decided anytime someone with a bullhorn mentions the troops, it is a 95% chance that everything else they say is bullshit. I'm also super glad we went to a rally already when we were green and could just laugh at the crazy guy behind us who would heckle the speakers with things like "Have you read Bill 8784936RD7864? It clearly says that you are a baby-eater!". OK, maybe they didn't say exactly that, but it might as well been, it was so annoying. And boy do those kind of people LOVE protests! So I've had the experience, but I kinda doubt I'd ever want to go to another. I'm just not a joiner, and don't really enjoy all the "Let's simplify a complex and multi-faceted argument into a dumbed-down lowest-common-denominator chant" part. Also there is always a contest to see which side can bring the most American flags, because, obviously, the more American flags you wave, the righter you are.

However, one twenty-somethingish guy walked by wearing a simple t-shirt that said "Please don't try to sell me drugs", which I thought was super awesome and funny.

Mid-rally we saw "Dragon Wars", which is possibly the worst movie I have ever paid to see. And my expectations were low to begin with, I totally expected it to be bad, but I didn't realize the level of badness to which it would fall. Whenever people stopped talking and the "dragons" a.k.a big snakes started tearing down buildings, then it was ok. But if I made the mistake of actually listening or paying any attention whatsoever to the plot I could feel the happiness being sucked right out of my soul. And this is coming from a person who likes Chinese kung-fu movies and Godzilla movies and so is used to bad dialogue and plot "twists". But this was so bad I was left physically uncomfortable and squirming in my chair in mental anguish. Why didn't we go see Jodie Foster kick bad-guy butt instead???

Anyway, long post. We are having some more fun this afternoon, I'm all excited and nervous and a total dorkasaurus, but I'll post something later tonight.

Fun news

As a closet space nerd, I got a little excited about some fun news this week. Google, the company that seems to be doing just about everything these days, just announced a $30 million dollar competition for private companies to send a craft to the moon. With NASA so limited in what it can accomplish, I think it is a great idea to get private companies invested in space exploration. The very phrase "space tourism" fills me with joy - if I ever win the lottery, you shouldn't be surprised when I blow all my winnings on visiting the Russian space station or whatever. lol Anyway, Google rocks, and though I'm sure it will be years before anything really happens with this on a public level, I'm totally excited.

The other weird news for the week concerns a couple who set sail on their boat, with the intention of keeping out of sight of land for, get this, 1000 days. Their premise, beyond that I suppose they both REALLY LIKE sailing, is that someday when NASA sends a team to Mars, they will be in a cramped space for, roughly, 1000 days, and they decided to experiment on themselves to see if they go insane or not. They still have email via satellite phone, and maintain a websiteof course, so they aren't completely isolated. But still, we are talking 3+ years here! Bottom line, I think they are totally crazy, but in such a fun and exciting way that I forever love them for it. They have been out for 144 days so far. I haven't yet read their blog, but I hope they are the weird kind of scientists/adventurers over the sterile type, which would make for much more entertaining reading.

As crazy as it is what they are doing, I just have so much respect for people who find their bliss doing things 99% of the rest of us think are wacky. This trip took a lot of work to plan, prepare and make happen. I gotta respect that.

Deep thought for the day

Besides being another reason I'm a sucker for Bertrand Russell, here is an idea I wish more of our politicians and political commentators and absolutists among us would take a moment to ponder as a virtue:

"To teach how to live without certainty, and yet without being paralyzed by hesitation, is perhaps the chief thing that philosophy, in our age, can still do for those who study it," - Bertrand Russell, introduction to "A History of Western Philosophy."

Work, bow ties, and thrift store shopping

So things are going pretty well. I've been taking two patients on my own and will probably move up to three very soon. A big problem for me is time management, I love sitting with the patients and giving them a chance to talk and get stuff out, which is not something I'll be able to do very often once I'm up to four patients. But skill-wise I'm figuring a lot of stuff out, programming PCAs and hanging blood and calling docs. I did my first discharge yesterday (a preemtpive shut up to Colin) which was a lot of paperwork but went pretty smoothly.

Tomorrow all the new grads are gathering for a scavenger hunt all around DC. Which they are paying us for. I'll probably have more to say about that, I think it will be a lot of fun as long as I can get a team that wants to play and not just take a three hour lunch or other such foolishness. I also have a super-fun secret announcement, but I don't want to jinx anything so you are just going to have to wait. I'm such a nerd, but I'm taking a day off from work to do it, so fingers crossed that we don't get rained out or any such nonsense. ::grin::

There seems to be a community of cute old men in DC, you know, the ones who wear white hats and bow ties with their cream-colored linen suits, and carry around leather bound books. They sit on the subway with these very self-satisfied smiles on their faces that make me stare and wish that I grow up to be just like them. I don't know what they actually do, though clearly they are dressed for something, and since they are on the subway at a quarter past six in the morning I assume they are going to work. Maybe they are museum curators of some kind? That would fit I suppose. But I see them around all the time, and they always seem so...happy. Not a bad life I guess.

David and I were going to go kayacking on the Potomac river on Saturday, but it was hot again, so we went shopping for a new dresser instead. We've been scouring craistlist for two months but could never catch anything good in time. Have you ever tried to shop for a dresser? What a pain! Store after store, but all the decent ones were in the $600-$1000 range, which was WAY more than we wanted to spend on a box to hold our underwear and t-shirts. Just as we were at our most dejected, David spied a thrift store. We were in the wrong lane and then got stuck in some traffic mess trying to turn around, so it took us 20 minutes to get back to it. But we found exactly what we wanted. Not only was it only $100, but it JUST FIT into our car.

Now, it is a different breed of people that shop at thrift stores, and as we were carrying the dresser up to the cash register and then out to the car, no fewer than four people stopped us to comment on what a great find we had made and how beautiful it was and how lucky we were. But even as we were thinking internally "Dang lady, you have the longest painted eyebrows I've ever seen", I can't deny that all the attention certainly increased our satisfaction level with our purchase. If stores were smart they would hire plainclothes compliment givers. "What a great shirt, you are going to look so sexy in that!" or "Non-fat milk! That is so smart, I need to start thinking about being as healthy as you are." Who isn't a sucker for a compliment from a stranger? We would totally - and happily - buy more.

Still more work comments...

And I thought actors were bad. My cue to leave the breakroom was this overheard comment:

"I wouldn't want to smell like vagina all day!"

More work comments:

An overheard phone conversation:

"I'm tired of being nice, nice, nice, I'm not Jesus!"

No dear, you aren't.

Best comment at work yet...

A nurse I was following today said to our patient:

"Sir, your penis is already in my hand, so why don't I just finish up right now?"

Also, another male patient asked for a pregnancy test. For himself. Cause he was worried about it.

I love my job.